"Hello, mountain. I am Sir Wrinkles. I’d like to climb you."
My friend bought a $2,000 cat lounge chair
story time: one time a guy liked me so much that he kissed me and i had never been kissed before so i screamed and ran away and then he pulled me back and kissed me all over my face and now it’s 3 years later and we’re planning our wedding. so just kiss her for fuck’s sake, you might get a wife out of it.
Every woman has mastered this. We are actually born with this skill.
You level up when you can do it with long sleeves
I was the only girl on an all-boys varsity soccer team. I had to change on the bus during away games because I didn’t have a locker room at other schools. I was not uncomfortable with that, actually. I did what I had to.
But one day I noticed that like three guys who were seniors were just staring at me as I did this and I must have shot them a dirty look because one of them (who is actually a family friend) was like “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to stare, but we’re still trying to figure out how the hell girls do that” and I just felt bad. They just want to get their girlfriend’s bra off without losing an eye and we can remove the whole thing like fucking wizards
i told my mom about this post and she went ‘wait, you can do it with long sleeves? um, i’ll be right back’
OKAY WOWIE YOU GUYS REALLY NEED TO WATCH THIS BECAUSE PANTENE DID A COMMERCIAL ABOUT HOW SHIT LABELS AGAINST WOMEN ARE AND ITS JUST SO GREAT WOWIE
Why did Fall Out Boy not make this an actual thing.
There’s a winged liner “terminology” reference list going around and I decided to give them correct names.
perks of being short
- ur automatically cute by default
- very portable, people carry u places
- rly rad nicknames
cons of being short
- u cant reach anything
- not so rad nicknames
- people use u as an armrest sometimes
perks of being tall
- u can reach things
- u can boop people on their head
- u get to use people as armrests
cons of being tall
- ur basically a portable landmark
- people use u to hide from the sun
- u can’t hide from anyone
Cats do this because its a hunting instinct to snap the neck of their prey.
*the more you know*
It’s a murderer instinct but holy shit it’s so cute.
Fun Fact: The little shaking move they do when they pick up toys in their mouths is the one for snapping necks.
This one’s actually for disemboweling. And it’s adorable.
The cutest murder machines ever.